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Joke of the Day

"that moment when you and the driver next to you catch each other picking your noses and you both nod like you're in a secret club."

"What have 70 teeths and 2 eyes? -An alligator. Now what have 2 teeths and 70 eyes? -A retirement home."

"I want to write a tweet that is so offensive that it reduces my followers to zero."

"I've got a Turkish friend. She's not hot or cold. Shawarma."

"I just got fired from my job at the fruit market. I was driving people bananas."

"Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don't 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will"

"How do you get four old ladies to say the F word? Have the fifth one say.... BINGO!"

"Could you kill a monster just by throwing eggs at him? Of course - he'd be eggs-terminated."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common? It's okay to smell it, but if you eat it you're gonna get fired."

"Q: What do you call a country bumpkin from Michigan's Upper Peninsula? A: A hick-UP"