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Joke of the Day

"I just got fired from my job at the fruit market. I was driving people bananas."

"What's the national anthem of Puerto Rico? ""Attention K-Mart shoppers..."""

"Hey! There's no need for name calling... ... You cunt."

"(Selling my soul) Just sign here and here ""I should have a lawyer read this"" *a million lawyers crawl through hell* We have plenty of those"

"The definition of Halloween: Halloween: the holiday when children vandalize your yard with toilet paper, then are rewarded with candy the next day."

"[slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!"

"Paris Hilton's IMDB page should only be accessible on April 1st."

"Kevin Ware's leg Unfortunately Kevin Ware and his leg did not display the same structure and elasticity as his brother Tupper"

"Fred: We had a burglary last night and they took everything except the soap and towels. Harry: The dirty crooks."

"A man is praying to God because his son is a stripper. God replies, you think you've got it bad, my son thinks he's a doctor."