188932

Joke of the Day

"Sorry I'm two hours late for work but I was trying to open a Toaster Strudel icing packet with wet hands."

"Guess what my Valentine gave me? Carpal Tunnel..."

"A dad asks 4-year-old son: ""How'd you sleep last night?"" Son says: ""umm... With my eyes closed?"" Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl."

"What did the gold miner say when he met the singer of Pink Floyd? Au"

"What gets easier to pick up the more it weighs? Women."

"Yelling REEEEEMIX, when your boss stutters on a conference call is looked down upon."

"What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team? The New York Jets ( )"

"I'll tell you what I know about dwarves Very little"

"Kate Middleton's gynacologist is getting a Knighthood The amount of Royal cunts he's put up with he probably deserves it."

"Walks up in da club like ""Has anyone seen my Mom? She'll be the one trying to cover up everyone's cleavage."""