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Joke of the Day

"I saved a mans life today. He was choking. So i took my hands off his throat. and said, ""dont make me save your life again and use your blinker next time asshole."""

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"What did one window say to the other window? I'm in pane"
"I made a miniature lemon-lime pie... It was a little tart"
"Therapist: So what happened in your last relationship? I lost him to addiction. Therapist: I'm so sorry. Drugs? Yes please."
"I like my women like I like my dragons... Jealous, naked, and atop a bunch of gold."
"Saint West, the patron of selfies"
"""Welcome to the jungle"" Thanks. ""We've got fun and games"" Cool. ""You're in the jungle"" We've established this ""You're gonna die!"" Wait what?"
"My parrot got himself a new suit. It's polly ester."
"Biggest joke in the world am not mental hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!"
"My sister said she wanted to have sex with me. I tried to say no, but she was incestant."