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Joke of the Day

"You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk."

"Men are just opposite from guns The smaller the caliber, the bigger the bore"

"I spent last night shouting at my psychiatrist Long story short he's convinced I have delusions of being a pony... I'd tell you more, but I'm a little hoarse."

"I'm usually not into butt plugs... ...it's actually the other way around :)"

"What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from the snow ? Slush puppies !"

"Why did Obama cross Pennsylvania Ave?"

"Took a whole week for my neighbor who only watches the Discovery Channel to realize thieves had replaced his TV with an aquarium."

"The estate of Charles Dickens is too make alcoholic beverages from the apples on their land The slogan is ""All the girls love a Dickens Cider"""

"Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers? They cause too much brain damage."

"ok guys the gofundme I set up to hire a hitman to kill me is already at 3x its goal you can stop contributing"