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Joke of the Day

"Just found a new app that that tells you which one of your friends are boring. It's called Facebook."

"I just bought a pair of glasses from Zenni Optical. 20/20 would buy again."

"I think it's fun how Hollywood gets to make as many Superman movies as they want until they get it right."

"Why did Lebron leave Miami? Because he just couldn't stand the heat"

"What do you call a fish with no eye? FSH"

"16yo [talking w friend]: fam that's lit af, tell bae and the squad that it's on fleek PARENT: *calls 911* i think my kid's having a seizure"

"Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey. Gonna call it: ""Get a load of this guy over here!""."

"The cops showed up earlier saying my dog was chasing some kid on a bike.. I was like that's ridiculous, my dog can't ride a bike"

"Why is Santa so jolly? ...Because he knows where all the bad girls live!"

"Why did Einstein marry his cousin? It's all relative."