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Joke of the Day

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining because of the cold. I'm whining because I have to wear a entire load of laundry to stay warm"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support soon, people are going to think we're nuts."

"I'm 20 years old and I still haven't had my period yet... I love being a guy"

"Whats the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates."

"I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing."

"all i want for christmas this year is to get off all social media forever"

"My niece said I look like a mom. So now we're playing a game, sorta like Hide-N-Seek, except I hide her and no one finds her. Ever."

"How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short."

"I can't pull rabbits out of a hat... But I can pull hares out of my ass!"

"Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything."