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Joke of the Day

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining because of the cold. I'm whining because I have to wear a entire load of laundry to stay warm"

"While some guys go to the gym to clean & snatch... Others go to to see lean snatch. C what I did there?"

"How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

"What do you call kangarooo jump and play hocky? the fam copter"

"What do two cousins say after they have sex? Roll Tide."

"Things will never get better until you make the conscious decision to lower your standards."

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I left it in my shirt and my mother put it in the washing machine"

"Do you want me to write good jokes? Good jokes"

"I hate when weather reporters talk shit on snow...Like why are u even in the weather biz if ur not down w/ snow"

"Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second but instead I'm going to run over it 100 times with the vacuum at different angles."