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Joke of the Day
"Why I don't trust women.... Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
Next Joke
"Where does dubious pasta come from? The spaghetto. I can't take all the credit, however: I heard the word from [this](http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/xdp4k/the_gaydar/c5lnkep) guy"
"For our first date, we'll dump a Crayola 64 box onto the floor, and put them back from worst to favorite."
"I have the heart of a lion... And a lifetime ban from the Lincoln Park Zoo"
"3 biggest women lies :) 1. I will not change after marriage. 2. I forgive you. --- EDIT: 2. It's fine. I forgive you. 3. I am going shopping. I will be back in 30 minutes."
"Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says ""I'll have h2o"" The second scientist says ""I'll have a water"" The first scientist goes back home and rethinks his assassination plan."
"Why did the console player cross the road? To get the game 6 months earlier"
"Drills are boring."
"Why can't blondes finish software updates? They can never find the ""any"" key."
"Apple will start making Macs in America. In related news, Macs will now cost 3 billion dollars. #SOTU"