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Joke of the Day

"ok be honest with me here. level with me a sec. mint choc chip ice cream. it's just cold toothpaste right. don't horseshit around with me"

"Fact that will blow your mind away. Did you know that Oprah Winfrey contains enough air that it can be used to inhabit life on Mars by creating an atmosphere."

"the kidzbop version of gangnam style is why terrorists hate us."

"When a killer makes you dig your own grave, throw the soil far away so he has trouble backfilling."

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my dick"

"Atheism... is a non-prophet organization."

"I have a very obedient dog, whenever I tell him 'Are you coming with me or not?', he is coming with me. Or not."

"Call me Christopher Columbus, Because I'm coming to get India."

"Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"Pretty much the only time I WANT to hear about your ex is if she's standing behind me with a weapon, other than that I'm good."