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Joke of the Day

"All across the United States of America, at this very moment, right now.... Kelsey, Madison and Taylor literally can't even."

"What do the hotdogs taste like at the gay parade? Shit"

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his pants The bartender asks whats up with the wheel on his pants. The pirate responds with ""Yarr, it's driving me nuts."""

"After a thorough diagnosis, my doctor couldn't figure out the cause of my uncontrolled flatulence... When I asked him what the problem was, he told me ""Your gas is as good as mine."""

"Toast should never pick a fight with me because I eat toast for breakfast."

"Why couldn't Muhammad pick his wife up from childcare? Because Muslim girls can't go to school"

"What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left? Oh, gosh!"

"DOC: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? ME: Can't say I do DOC: That's one of the symptoms, yes."

"Can anyone tell me.... If I posted the joke about Alzheimers? I can't remember if I did."

"The Nokia 3310 was ahead of its time... Dust proof, water proof, had a nearly infinite battery life, indestructible, AND no audio jack!"