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Joke of the Day

"Santa: What do you want for Christmas? Me: a dragon! Santa: noo, be realistic Me: a girlfriend Santa: * cough * what color do you want your girlfriend?"

"The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion?' The doctor again: 'Yes, you are very ugly too...'"

"My gf asked me if I'm cumin I said no, 'cause your papwreaksa"

"Man walks into a bar... Ouch. Masochist walks into a bar..."

"What's the difference between a hoedown and a hootenanny? One's when your prostitute falls on the floor, and the other is when your babbysitter is making owl sounds."

"What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night long"

"100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. ... 100 people get the Swine Flu and everybody wants to wear a mask. A million people have AIDS and no one wants to wear a condom!"

"What do you call a truthful piece of paper? Fax."

"What do you call a naked blond standing on her hands? A brunette with bad breath."

"Q: Did you ever hear about the rope joke? A: Skip it."