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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? You suck his dick."
Next Joke
"a classics professor goes to a tailor... A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""
"I still remember the day the dentist removed my braces. My trousers fell down and he molested me."
"Really, Weather Guy? It's gonna be a ""pleasant"" weekend? How about you go to Stacy's baby shower and report back."
"Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks *Impales Flutist* ""Must be flute poisoning"" *Bludgeons French Horn Player* ""Am I making you horny?"" *Throws Tuba player off cliff* ""Tu...bad"""
"How does William Shakespeare make chili? With beans? Or not with beans? That is the question."
"[Bruce Wayne enters Gotham Orphanage] I'll take your finest orphan. ""Sir, we can't just give-"" Here's $50mil. ""Do you like boy acrobats?"""
"Whatever happened to silk underwear? A: Fell through the cracks."
"What do you call a sleeping prisoner? Under a-rest."
"Hired a gardener today and gave him a list of things to do. When I got back home he'd only done tasks 1,3 & 5. Turns out he's an odd job man."