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Joke of the Day
"What did the band director say to the misbehaving kid? You're in treble mister!"
Next Joke
"Me: YOU CAN DO IT SON! Son: Why are you being so encouraging? Are you drunk? Me: Yep. So pass your driving test or we're walking home."
"What do you call a person who sexually identifies as a Xenomorph? An alie-kin"
"Q: What's red and sits in the corner? A: A naughty tomato."
"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you."
"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."
"When Adam and Eve ate the apple I remember thinking, ""Well, that's a sin, but at least it's original."""
"What did Mario say when he found out he got drunk and had sex with a green mushroom? ""Well, I fucked that one up."""
"Why is it called ""the circle of life""? Because it's pointless."
"On the bright side, smoking cigarettes reduces the risk of winning a marathon."