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Joke of the Day

"My next door neighbour is really loud and obnoxious. So now I know how Canada feels. Well, it's what he would have wanted more."

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"How do you piss off a male archaeologist? You take a shit in his car."
"What did the tree say to autumn? Leaf me alone."
"So I took your mom to In N Out 'cause I know she likes it animal style"
"> Unsubscribe from LinkedIn > Delete email account > Sell house, live in woods > Find bottle in river > Has note inside > It's from LinkedIn"
"What do you call a Jawa's favourite magician? Houdini."
"I walked into the pharmacist's office and asked for condoms for my 12 year old son. The pharmacist asked ""is your son sexually active?"" I replied with ""no he just lays there and cries."""
"I would like to see more realistic math problems in schools cause there ain't no way some kid has 75 melons without stealing a produce truck"
"Why does West Virginia have so many unsolved murders? There are no dental records and all the DNA is the same."
"Confucius say lucky girl is girl who meets boy in park; Confucius say lucky boy is boy who parks meat in girl."