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Joke of the Day

"May 4th is Star Wars day May the 4th be with you!"

"Q: How many Pentagon procurement officers does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Look for only $87 billion we can put up this chain of fluorescent satellites that will illuminate the whole planet."

"TIFU by insulting a one-armed foreigner visiting my town. I called him a tourist."

"A job interview. What's your worst quality? Honesty. Well, i don't think that honesty is a bad quality.. I don't give a fuck what you think."

"Remember when Indiana Jones risked having his arm crushed to rescue his hat? I'd do that for my iPhone."

"The field sobriety test was going ok until I grabbed two traffic cones and did a Madonna impersonation."

"You hurt the feelings of a person who was once the crush of a person who was once a friend of mine so you're a BAD person. ~ internet logic"

"I read the symptoms for being a hypochondriac... AND I HAVE ALMOST ALL OF THEM!!!!!"

"My parents told me I should start watching less television and read more So I turned the subtitles on"

"Doctors have confirmed that masturbation is life threatening Many men have died after having a stroke"