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Joke of the Day

"Easy way to have a relationship: 1. Buy a ship 2. Name it 'Relation' 3. ??? 4. PROFIT"

"Yesterday I told someone that I don't like babies? ""Have you tried them with ketchup instead of mayonnaise?"", they asked."

"There is no way alcohol kills more people than it creates"

"If I had no emotions, I don't know how I'd feel about it."

"Paul says to Jesus ""Hey man whatcha doing for Passover?"" Jesus says ""Just hanging around."""

"I went to a Japanese restaurant and the noodles were disgusting. I guess you could say they were stone cold soba."

"In Britain you can make a bet on anything, and some canny punters bet on the result of the Brexit vote being `Leave'. Unfortunately, they had to accept their winnings in pounds."

"I enrolled to online Private Investigator Course but they are not answering... I'm not sure if they just ignoring me or this is my first case..."

"""Que?"" (Spanish Inquisition)"

"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""