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Joke of the Day

"Back in my day, we didn't have Twitter, Facebook, or even the internet. Guys would have to walk uphill for days to tell me that I'm gay."

Next Joke
 
"Why aren't snowmen called snow women? Because they're in the kitchen melting."
"What do you call a tight asshole? a noose"
"If she calls me lazy again, I swear I'll get off this couch and go take a nap in bed."
"White people can't say the N word, but we DO get to say things like, ""Thanks Dad"" and, "" Thanks for the warning, Officer."""
"How many Irish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 30 - One to hold the light bulb and 29 to drink until the room spins."
"Q: How did the frog cross the road when a truck was coming? A: SPLAT!!! He didn't."
"Did you hear about the newlyweds who mixed up the lube and window putty? All their windows fell out"
"[Calculus Joke] Why didn't the derivative of sec(x) go to the beach? Because secant tan"
"I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."