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Joke of the Day

"I love long romantic walks... ...to the fridge."

"Teen smoking is down 35 percent from when I was a kid. Unfortunately, so is teen ""coolness."""

"I have a fear of speed bumps but I'm slowly getting over it."

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"A man walks into a bar He suffered a minor concussion."

"My brothel has no regular customers... People just cum and go."

"Goldfish 911: What's ur emergency? Goldfish: I forgot Goldfish 911: Forgot what? Goldfish: WHO IS THIS? Goldfish 911: I DON'T KNOW"

"Why do they call it a ""roach clip""? Cause ""pot holder"" was taken."

"Before you judge someone... Walk a mile in their shoes. If you still don't like them, at least they're a mile away, and you have their shoes."

"When I fight Authority, Authority always makes me submit a lot of paperwork."