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Joke of the Day

"Do you know what happens when you eat too many wontons? You weigh wonton!"

"What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life? Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window"

"This post is a broken pencil It is pointless."

"I broke up with my girlfriend, who is an Optometrist She meant well, but she was just too annoying in bed. She was always saying, ""So, do you like it better like this.... or like this?"""

"What's the best part about sex with a 5 year old? Watching them break down on the witness stand."

"I am a feminist. Unless you tell me to go and bring you a sandwich. I'm also a waitress."

"Was just watching Animal Planet, and get this, hippos don't really eat marbles!"

"SpaceX announced today that they are removing the astronaut janitor position from their first manned flight to Mars There just isn't enough room in the ship for a vacuum cleaner."

"What happened to the little Dutch boy after he put his finger in the dyke? ...she shattered his jaw!"

"""Better to die on your feet than live on your knees!"" cried the revolutionary. ""That's what Che said,"" whispered his comrade."