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Joke of the Day

"A robot walks into a bar, orders a drink, and lays down some cash. Bartender says, ""Hey, we don't serve robots."" And the robot says, ""Oh, but someday you will."""

"Oh really well you thought four inches was HUGE when we were talking about spiders."

"""Look at that speed!"" said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads. ""Hmph!"" snorted the other. ""You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!"""

"Kayne West gets arrested Officer: ""Okay, Kanye you get one phone call."" **Kanye Dials Phone number** **Officer answers** Officer: Hello? Kanye: Put Kanye on the phone."

"What do you call a teacher that's always late? Mr. Bus (think about it)"

"If you ever feel like you are worthless, just remember... You were once the fastest sperm."

"A roman walks into a bar Holds up two fingers and says five beers please"

"My new Thai girlfriend said, ""A small penis shouldn't be a problem in a loving relationship"" I still wish she didn't have one."

"Why was Pluto's child unexpected? Because it didn't plan it."

"I'm so committed to pizza that I've stopped wearing a condom when I eat it."