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Joke of the Day

"Reddit vs the Titanic At least the Titanic had a band"

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry Ben is in a coma"

"How come squirrels get a pass to bury whatever they want in the park but the cops go crazy when I try to bury one tiny bloody knife?"

"The past, present and future walk into a bar... It was tense."

"Who ever taught Storm Troopers how to shoot also must have taught white golfers how to high five each other."

"whats the difference between me and the bible? i'm easy to read"

"Did you hear how high the offshore banker's salary is? I heard he makes boatloads."

"Cat: I think i have a rash. Doctor Dog: WE SHOULD AMPUTATE YOUR HEAD"

"""the uk couldn't POSSIBLY leave"" ""trump couldn't POSSIBLY be president"" ""we couldn't POSSIBLY start eating each other out of necessity"""

"A priest and a rabbi are walking in the park. The priest turns to the rabbi and asks, ""How much do you charge for circumscisions?"" The rabbi responds, ""They're free, but I get to keep the tips."""