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Joke of the Day

"They say not to text and drive, but I still feel totally fine after like two texts"

"What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalepeno face."

"I would tell you a butter joke... But you would probably just spread it."

"What do a plate of homemade brownies and a golden shower have in common? Urine for a treat."

"How was the sound quality of Shrek's musical keyboard? Nothing special, it was just MIDI-Ogre"

"There are three types of people in the world... Those that can count and those that can't."

"What do you say when your mom walks in on you fapping? C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!"

"*Arrives at work 2 hrs late Boss: HR wants to see you about your behavior Me: Well, I literally just got here so it couldn't have been me"

"so true story, i just mindlessly outstretched my fingers to graze the rear end of a Macy's mannequin that turned out to be a real human man"

"What's yellow and lives off dead beetles? Yoko Ono"