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Joke of the Day

"COP: do you know why I pulled you over ME: knock knock COP: who's there ME: do you know why I pulled you over COP: *begins to sweat* n..no"

"*firefighter wraps me in blanket after he rescues me* Um I just came out of a fire so I'm pretty hot actually"

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance Saturday, Sunday"

"Why do people love working at yogurt factories? Because of the culture!"

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care!"

"What do you call a group that keeps getting bigger? A crew."

"Some jokes are like doctors... They get better with repeated deliveries."

"Why do mermaids put their things on top of clams? Because clams are shelf-ish."

"This year I'm releasing a Christmas record called Duvet Know it's Christmas? It's a cover version."

"Having Gay parents is the worst. You either get double the amount of Dad Jokes or stuck in an infinite loop of ""Go ask your mother""."