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Joke of the Day

"Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon."

"Every time you use a q-tip... you turn a q into an o"

"I met my girlfriend on 11/1/14... But it's now 12/31/15. She's destroyed my KDA this game."

"Sean Connery the plumber, available 24/7, rain or shnow. Becaushe the shitty never shleeps."

"I was up all night wondering, if you get fired at the Unemployment Office, do you just switch to the other side of the desk?"

"What do you call an egocentric strain of bacteria found in a Chipotle burrito? ME-coli"

"What is the only word in an English dictionary spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly is the only word spelled I n c o r r e c t l y"

"I just finished a jigsaw puzzle. It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years."

"What does ADA stand for? Dyslexic Association of America"

"What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body? Rigatoni!"