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Joke of the Day

"Kate Keller is not a good mother. After learning that her daughter, Helen Keller, got turned down by a boy, she asks: ""Are you seeing someone?"""

"""Steak and Shake"" great burgers and also a good way to kill baby vampires."

"Did you hear about the guy who liked to stab himself in the eye? After a while, he stopped seeing the point."

"the good news is the doctor says I'm healthy as a horse, the bad news is she still uses large farm animals to describe me...."

"People complain when my baby is crying and then they complain when I stuff her in the overhead bin, MAKE UP YOUR GD MINDS"

"Why didn't the airline passenger check his vulture? Because it's a carrion bird."

"If he says ""you're 1 in a million"" it means he either has no knowledge of the world population or he thinks there are 7000 people like you"

"Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations? Because of the overflow errors!"

"Casper The Friendly Ghost never haunted my house. All I got was his stupid cousin, Murray The Constipated Poltergeist."

"I bought my friend an elephant for their room They said ""Thank you"" I said ""Don't mention it"""