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Joke of the Day
"Can you honor Maya Angelou by not pretending that you knew much about her?"
Next Joke
"Wanna know how to piss off over a billion people on the Internet at once? [deleted]"
"*feels painful possible cavity* *eats chocolate to feel better*"
"Sometimes I like to hysterically tell mall security that my infant son has gone missing just so I can show people baby pictures of myself."
"I like my women like I like my coffee. Cold."
"My boss is currently shopping for quarter million dollar homes. Meanwhile, I'm over here deciding if I really need to spend $2 on lunch."
"[5 minutes after being trapped in an elevator] Finally, an excuse to drink my own urine"
"How many skateboarders does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take him 50 tries to do it."
"So I was on tindr today and someone offered me a $125/hr ""girlfriend experience"" So she expects me to pay her 125 an hour to argue with me in the middle of an Applebee's!?"
"So sad America ranks 25th in the world in math. But at least we're still in the top 10."