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Joke of the Day

"Girls say they want a guy with a sense of humor, but they don't specify what type. Remember, serial killers think murder is a hoot."

"anyone who puts that dumb ass Gotye song on when im with them instantly becomes somebody that i used to know."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station, and one's a busty crustacean."

"Today. I. Realized. That. Typing. Like. This. Doesn't. Make. Your. Point. Stronger. It. Makes. You. Look. Like. Your. Computer. Has. Asthma"

"My attitude changes in 5 seconds flat. From sweetheart to bitch. So I suggest you don't test that."

"Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race."

"I got a nice Rolex from the lesbian couple next door after they asked me what I wanted for my birthday. It's a cool gift and all, but I think they misunderstood me when I told them I wanna watch."

"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."

"New Thanksgiving trend Forget Black fiday how about BLACK RIOT MONDAY"

"The worst part of getting a chain wallet for your birthday is that now you have 3 days to send 10 chain wallets to your friends."