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Joke of the Day
"My attitude changes in 5 seconds flat. From sweetheart to bitch. So I suggest you don't test that."
Next Joke
"You scream, we all scream, I apologize for entering the womens bathroom."
"""I'm not a violent person but people can change"", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food."
"I bought an iPod from El Chapo... But now I have to keep jailbreaking it."
"I hate this place, as soon as I find my clothes, I am leaving."
"Judge: Are you married? A. No I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know about."
"55 in a 25 and let's just say I wasn't referring to my driving."
"Make the little things count... teach midgets arithmetic."
"Somewhere right now, a girl just uploaded a picture of herself saying ""Not looking good today"" after deleting the first 50 pictures she took"
"""I don't even own a slave"" - colonial hipster"