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Joke of the Day

"FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties By adding a new definition for ""botched"" to urban dictionary; successful"

"The Old Testament is the historical record of the first time we Jews controlled the media."

"Dog walking is by far the easiest job I've done.. It was a walk in the park"

"My wife is getting rid of all the clutter. If you see the kids and me standing out by the street, it means we didn't make the cut this year."

"[On a date] Date: So what do you do? Me: I'm a taxidermist Date: Oh... wow. Fox: And a ventriloquist"

"What was the allergic 2""X4""'s terrifying hallucination? He sawdust."

"My cat and I have lots in common like how we both cry when we're hungry and both put our ass in the air when it's being rubbed."

"My town is holding their annual incest competition. I entered my sister."

"2 hr flight, better buy 8 lbs of fruit and nut mix."

"What is a relationship? It's the one that always sinks...."