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Joke of the Day

"My voice is like a pony, A little Horse."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pimple? A pimple waits until you are 13 to come on your face."

"Jesus fed 5000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish. I can't even satisfy myself with a family sized lasagne"

"HERE'S A KID WITH NO ARMS AND NO LEGS AND HIS PARENTS ARE DEAD AND YOU'LL DIE SOON TOO, BUY THINGS. - Super Bowl Commercials in a nut shell"

"Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, and the first thing I look for in you."

"Two Fish there was two fish in a tank and one of the fish said do you know how to drive this thing BECAUSE THE FISH ARE DRIVEING THE TANK IN A WAR"

"Guy in USA:(phone) you ready? Guy in Australia: (phone) hell yeah Both:123 *each drop a piece of bread onto ground* Both: EARTH SANDWICH!"

"he literally just said, ""everyone's saying i won the debate."" is it possible...hear me out...trump has an imaginary friend named Everyone?"

"Put the punchline in the title How do you ruin a perfectly good joke?"

"[sprains my ankle] Doc: does it hurt when you put pressure on it? Me: Let me check Me: [to ankle] c'mon dude try it, it's only one cigarette"