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Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between 3 cocks and a joke? your mom can't take a joke."

"*sets cauldron over crackling fire* *adds lock of his hair* *does magicky stuff* Now love me. **POOF** *my left eyebrow falls off*"

"What did the dog bring to party? Wooffies!"

"What's the difference between a doctor and a chair salesman? The chair salesman gives YOU a stool sample."

"You think you're not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles."

"My friend is always looking for trouble... Which is good because he's a cop."

"You guys should read ""It's normal here"" a biography of a Chinese exchange student who was sexually assaulted. written by Quinton Chingme"

"Given how enormous the universe is, I assume there's an alien out there who does a mocking impression of me. Screw you, alien."

"So my girlfriend thinks I'm stalking her. Well, she's not a my girlfriend but she will be soon."

"*shows up to date with horse drawn carriage* ""I'm so surprised!"" Yes it's a terrible drawing of a carriage but he didn't have thumbs so"