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Joke of the Day

"i'm going to sell a drink called ""responsibly"" so after every liquor ad when they say ""drink responsibly"" hey free advertising boom i win"

"When's the best time to see an optometrist? When you can't."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade....."

"""What does the fox say?"" Whatever the Rupert Murdoch tells it to."

"Men are like floors... Lay them right the first time, and you can walk all over them."

"Why is a fire truck always red? Cause you'd be mad too if someone kept pulling your hose."

"A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes."

"What is the most confusing day in Harlem? Fathers Day!"

"I wish I was getting a divorce. Because it would mean someone once loved me enough to marry me."

"I love how you can tell how slutty a girl is by the size of her hoop earrings."