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Joke of the Day
"""USA is #1! USA is #1!"" me explaining international dialing codes"
Next Joke
"This guy at my school has eight zits on his face. We call him octo pus."
"""My grammar is terrible,"" I said untruthfully, as I lied on the bed."
"I just bought a Christmas tree and my buddy asked, ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, I was thinking the living room."""
"If you lend someone 20 Bucks, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it."
"One time cancer got a terminal case of Chuck Norris."
"Based on the Scotland vote results... It looks like the UK didn't get off Scot-free."
"What's so difficult about being a camera man in the porn industry? Recording with one hand.."
"*buys roofies, slips then into girlfriends drink, plays video games for 8 hours straight in peace and quiet*"
"Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch."