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Joke of the Day

"cop: ""you're drunk, get out of the car."" judas: ""bbut I've bbeen on tthe water all night."" - [jesus whistles innocently]"

"They're building a restaurant on Mars now... They say the food will be great, but they're worried about a lack of atmosphere."

"I'm gonna open a Pho restaurant that never closes! It's called Twenty Pho Seven"

"Once upon a time a guy was left hanging..."

"The trouble with lawyer jokes is that lawyers don't think they're funny, & nobody else thinks they're jokes."

"Past, Present and Future walk into a bar It was tense"

"When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order."

"What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off? I'll get you next slime!"

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing has come out of her vagina."

"""By night's end, one of these teams will be the victor."" Thank you for that breakdown, Bob Costas. I was worried they might all die instead."