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Joke of the Day

"Private Manning will never get away with it! Corporal Klinger didn't"

"Now that Scalia, the bullfrog of SCOTUS, has passed away... Can we say he finally croaked?"

"Making cakes Mom: I need to go to the store to buy some molasses. Dad: Why don't you just dig under the front yard?"

"It's way too early in the day for you to be yelling at me, repeating your demands, and making me follow you around, girl. It's over, Dora."

"I fart in church so I can sit in my own pew."

"If my teachers don't become Ms. Frizzle anytime soon, I will just keep not paying attention."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He needed to get that high score"

"[NSFW] What's the difference between an 18yo and a washing machine? You can dump your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you round for two weeks telling you it loves you"

"I wish I had a more acidic wit Unfortunately mine's very basic."

"What's Pamela Andersons favorite soda? Hepsi!"