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Joke of the Day

"There are two types of people I can't stand. Nosy people, and people who won't tell me what the hell they're whispering about."

"""You haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"" Always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation with me."

"How do you die by heroin? When you are the villain"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Teenage Pregnancy Barbie ...complete with dropout forms. Angry parents and deadbeat boyfriend sold separately"

"Damn girl Just $5 for a blowjob? You have syphigonnaidsitis or something?"

"I think the main issue with 'The Hunger Games' is that while her life is at stake, boy problems are still presented as legitimate threats."

"What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!"

"What do japanese men do when they have erections? Vote"

"A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: ""You're what?!?"""

"Scientology has spaceships?! Crazy! I'll stick to my guy who parted the sea with his mind."