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Joke of the Day

"I play the triangle in a reggae band... ... I stand at the back and ting"

"Why did (do?) cavemen drag their women by the hair? if the dragged them by their feet they'd fill up with mud."

"A screwdriver walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Hey, we have a drink named after you!"" The Screwdriver responds, ""You have a drink named Murray?"""

"If you wear a tie with a short sleeve shirt you can walk into any RadioShack and start working."

"Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening to you."

"An annoying part of life in the 80s was when you're already late and, once again, you gotta shoo away some sexy lady lying all over your car"

"Lip Balm To My Wife Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me."

"I'm an old guy, and I fuck at least 3 super hot girls in their mid 20's every week I'm a student loan collector"

"MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad"

"This Subreddit"