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Joke of the Day

"People always ask, would you rather be right or happy? I have always found I'm happiest when I'm right!"

"Why is Chris Christie such a successful man? Because he is too big to fail."

"*reads online that you should befriend your coworkers with some water cooler talk* ME (to coworker): So, are you into water coolers?"

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef jerky"

"I wanted to make a joke about quantum physics, but I wasn't sure if I should. So I did and didn't."

"Did you hear about the gay midget? he came out of the cupboard"

"Her: We have rats! Me: We do? Her: Look something gnawed thru this package of cookies! Me: (wipes crumbs from my mouth) I'll buy traps."

"On the tombstones of Buddhists, it's always 'RIP'. I always thought it was 'BRB'"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bossy ! Bossy who ? Bossy just fired me !"

"A Cuban, a Canadian, and a White Supremacist walks into a bar... The bartender asks ""What'll you have Senator Cruz?"""