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Joke of the Day

"HADES: what happens when Aphrodites hair gets frizzy? ZEUS: don't- HADES: i guess u could call her AFROdite ZEUS: this is why we banished u"

"Yesterday I found out my girlfriend of 5 years has conditional gemder dysphoria She said she needed to be Frank with me"

"""Snitches get stitches"" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, ""Snitches never wake up again"" is more likely to deter snitching..."

"I named my daughter Dagstorp after where she was conceived (Ikea sofa)"

"What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store."

"My boss said, ""Have a good day""... So I went home."

"Where does bad light end up? in prism"

"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."

"My sister told me she's dating an Irish guy I said, ""Oh really?"" She replied, ""No, O'Reilly."""

"When I play rock paper scissors I always pick Rock because Dwayne Johnson shows up and punches my opponent."