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Joke of the Day

"Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance."

"Never make fun of a fat girl with a lisp. She's thick and tired of it."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth"

"Is it a bird is it a plane... What ever it is its headed for the world trade center."

"No. I'm not pregnant. That's my liver."

"There is a house on my street that I can't stop staring at. It's front door is especially entrancing."

"If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die."

"What is Buddhism measured in? Oooohms"

"To teach my kids about the election I let them vote for dinner. They voted for pizza so I made tacos to teach them their vote doesn't matter anyway."

"What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces? Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them."