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Joke of the Day

"An egg with 28 followers says I'm not funny. So if you need me, I'll just be in the kitchen making an omelette."

"Whats the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker stops fucking you when your dead."

"Whenever I get a stack of resumes, I immediately throw half of them away. I don't want unlucky people working in my department."

"Who wants two tickets to the gun show? I bought the Groupon but can't make it :("

"Being a sexist doesn't bother me at all. The only people that will call me a sexist are women and their opinion doesn't matter."

"What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away? A Fraudian slip."

"What do you call Captain Forte and his sidekick Piano? A dynamic duo! This joke came to me in my delirious state after hours of band camp practices."

"I don't think you are stupid. You just have a bad luck when thinking."

"What did one testicle say to the other testicle? Don't talk to the guy in the middle. He is a dick!"

"So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says ""Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa!"", says the parrot."