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Joke of the Day

"An egg with 28 followers says I'm not funny. So if you need me, I'll just be in the kitchen making an omelette."

"If a gang attacks U say you're on their side & U brought them ""gang supplies"". They'll let you go to the car to get the supplies. Drive away"

"A German walks into a bar and orders a martini, the bartender asks ""dry?"" The German says ""Nein, just one"""

"Tifu by having sex with my friend's dumb bitch I guess bestiality isn't common where hes from."

"The presidential race between Hillary and Trump reminds me of the first AVP movie. Whoever wins, we lose."

"I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture."

"The cops came to my door to give me a ticket for a dog at large. They say he was chasing a kid on a bike. I said, ""that's not true, my dog can't ride a bike."""

"How long does it take to build a castle? A Fortnight"

"I just had a meeting with John It was stressful and hes full of shit."

"What does glass taste like? Blood."