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Joke of the Day

"I need your best pickup lines I'm going to be in a contest where one section is about giving your best pickup lines. Do you have any good ones?"

"""Say TGIF ONE more time"" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, ""Go ahead, say it again."""

"What do you call a dog without front legs? Chester."

"And so, Jesus said unto Peter ""Come forth and win yourself eternal glory"" But Peter came fifth and won himself a toaster"

"How to make $500 fast Attach it to a rocket Credit: 4chan"

"""This tofu tastes like chicken."" No one believes you dude."

"What is the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"

"Candidate, with lisp, interviews for executive position at Citibank Interviewers: ""Alan, where do you see yourself ten years from now?"" Alan: ""Running shitty bank."""

"Why does Superman have to wait until tomorrow to fight gang violence in LA? He can't face the Crips tonight."

"I still don't know what the word ""Suicide"" means I've been killing myself trying to find the definition"