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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend once used Vaseline when she gave me a handjob . . I came four or five times trying to wash it off."

"No matter how kind you are... No matter how kind you are, German kids are kinder."

"I've got a joke. So the other day I found out I'm really bad at telling stories."

"I bet a lot of people have tried that ""See you next year!"" joke at the end of December but got proven wrong by dying in a DUI."

"What's the first thing a 16 yr old, from Arkansas, says after sex? Get off me Pa you're crushing my Copenhagen!"

"What do you call a group of animals who decides to kill themselves? Mass zooicide."

"Do you know why I don't like simple chord progressions? They give me the EBGBs."

"why didn't Maria go to prom? she had no Juan to go with"

"If you were born after 1990, you will never know the frustration of having to rewind your parents porn tapes to the exact same spot..."

"How do Muslims like their food served? Allah Carte"