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Joke of the Day
"When do clocks die? When their time is up."
Next Joke
"Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it."
"Yo mama is so fat... that when she goes to the movie theatre she sits next to everybody."
"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef jerky."
"HEY OSAMA I FOUND YOUR 72 VIRGINS THEY ARE ALL ON MY TIMELINE TALKING ABOUT STAR WARS"
"An Irish girl tells her mother that she's decided to become a prostitute. ""A WHAT?!"" her mother says. ""A prostitute,"" the daughter says. ""Thank god,"" the mother says. ""I thought you said Protestant."""
"How much does a pirate pay for corn? Buccaneer."
"I learned today that ""bust a nut"" doesn't mean ""work really hard"" and boy aren't I embarrassed about using it in all those work memos."
"Bernie supporters voting for Trump isn't like drinking bleach, its like drinking castor oil... we know its going to be awful, but we have something we *really* need to get rid of."
"Drew Barrymore is so hot. That's why E.T. is one of my favorite movies."