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Joke of the Day

"The police just knocked on my door They claimed my dog was chasing someone on a bike. I told them they must be mistaken. My dog doesn't even own a bike."

Next Joke
 
"Hey baby, is your name Polio? Because I am stiff below the waist"
"If you punched a random Brit today... There would be a 52% chance they deserved it."
"Inside me is a skinny woman screaming to get out. I can usually shut her up with a cookie."
"Nothing like a left handshake to make me wonder why you're weird."
"Why did Princess Diana divorce Prince Charles? She was always told a ruler was 12 inches!"
"I heard there's a new movie coming out where an illegal immigrant turns vigilante and battles a child molester... They're calling it Alien vs Predator."
"How do you kill a clown? DING DONG. Someone got the joke."
"During sex it's perfectly fine to say 'yeah', 'yes', 'oh yes'..but how awkward would it be if someone kept screaming 'Yep' .."
"A logician just had a baby Her friends ask her: ""A boy or a girl?"" She replies: ""Yes"""