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Joke of the Day

"A Nazi scientist walks into Burger King He asks for a Whopper, and the guy at the counter replies: ""Don't you mean a *Heisenburger*?"""

"President Putin say's he is doing everything he can to wipe out Aids Researchers. (What too soon?)"

"What did the drowning mathematician say? Logloglogloglog..."

"Whatever, low battery indicator. You're not the boss of"

"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean."

"Why is Hillary better than a prostitute? Hillary will be whatever you want her to be for a whole campaign, a prostitute only lasts 30 minutes."

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"[mysterious British man rescues me] Me: How? Him: Bond [introducing himself as we leave prison], bail bond."

"Perhaps Bieber wouldn't need to vandalize walls with graffiti if the restaurants that he goes to would offer him a coloring menu with crayons."

"My clothes don't fit anymore. There's only one possibly explanation. America is shrinking my clothes."