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Joke of the Day

"Sorry for letting bad things happen to good people all these years."

Next Joke
 
"I have yet to see a television Network try to improve their ratings by airing better quality shows."
"What do sex in a canoe and American beer have in common? They're both fucking close to water."
"Why don't progressives go to the dentist? Because dentists like everything straight and white."
"Imagine meeting the person of your dreams and then finding out they use cutlery to eat a burger."
"If your product's third layer is for absorbency, I don't want to see the commercial at dinnertime."
"100% of people who eat in the dining area of the grocery store are murderers."
"How does a man on a moon get his haircut? Eclipse it."
"I like Jesus... But he loves me. It's an awkward friendship."
"What did the conductor do when half of the cello section called in sick a week before a major concert? He was forced to resort to excessive violins."