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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries"

"My boss has stopped letting me leave early for my son's Little League games ever since he learned he's in his second year of college."

"When hoes say, new year new me... they really mean new guys, new dick."

"What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain :D"

"Did you hear about the kid who was born without eyelids? They used his foreskin to make eyelids. The poor little kid is gonna be *cock*eyed the rest of his life."

"I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility. After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in."

"2016: Trump elected 2018: Border wall completed 2020: Mexico takes Gold, Silver & Bronze in Pole Vault at the Summer Olympics"

"What is ET short for? So he can fit in the spaceship."

"I hate those stupid Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves!"

"I'd like two tickets, please. - Is it for The Hobbit? - No, she's my girlfriend."