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Joke of the Day

"What's the 4th grade essay in the Detroit School District? What I want to be *if* I grow up."

"Today I watched a donkey look both ways before crossing the street... ... he was a smart ass."

"How do Amish guys know if its a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?"

"How does Super Mario contact his dead brother? Using a Luigi board!"

"I'm more likely to wear a donut on my wrist than any fitness tracker."

"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, ""I slept with a Brazilian..."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"Why is Paula Deen's restaurant called ""Paula Deen's Kitchen""? Because the name ""White Castle"" was already taken"

"Today's life lesson: ""I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."""

"Why did the T-Rex get kicked outta the porn shoot? Because he had a reptile dysfunction"

"I have this bad habit of projecting. I believe everyone pretty much thinks the same way I do. But I'm sure everyone does that."