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Joke of the Day

"When I shake hands with a fat guy I don't like, I do it extra hard to get a good moob bounce going"

"I went through a Skrillex phase I had to stop though. It got expensive dropping everything all the time!"

"How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed. "

"The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I'm joking."

"I've bought drinks for guys and not as an equality thing but because when I'm drunk I forget that money is real."

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... You've seen the mall."

"If trump doesn't get the Republican nomination There will be hell toupe (Converted from another joke found in this board!)"

"Why were the strawberries sad? Because their mother was in a jam!"

"My close friend lost much of his life savings due to his Galaxy S5 Fingerprint Scanner being hacked and when he told me the story it brought me to tears. I guess you could say it was pretty touching."

"Did you know rabbi's perform circumcisions for free? But they'll gladly take any tips."